Everyone is on Atkins Today I discovered my cats are on Atkins. No carbs, they cried out to me as I fed them pizza and hot dogs. They only want fresh meat or carb free kibble.

As I was shopping today, I read a label to see how many carbs are in the sesame seed pita bread that my favorite Mediterranean deli makes. I don't care about carbs, but there I was reading the label. What the hell? I think it was sparked by a meeting I had yesterday with my assistant, my buyer and catering coordinator. I was late to the meeting due to a telephone conference call. As I approached, I opened my bags and pulled out a handful of these big, white striped fluffy butter mints.

In the South, they take butter mints and cheese straws very seriously. And with good reason too. You can't have a party without either one in this state without permission from the local government.

So mints in hand, I interrupt (very professionally mind you) and throw the mints in the air and ask, "What the fuck you guys talking about?" Staff looks at me as if I'm crazy. Nothing new for me, and then they scramble for the mints.

It was fun. I felt like I was working a float on the thanksgiving day parade.

Caterer says, "I probably shouldn't eat this, I don't need the carbs." freak. I said..."It weighs less than a teaspoon. Atkins died of a heart attack. Have the damned mint!"

Then Buyer was drooling over his mint. I snatched it out of his hand and said, "Wait a second...aren't you doing that cleansing fast this week?" He goes, "yeah, but..." I go, "Sorry man, I don't want to be blamed for you being unclean."

Assistant fished the rest off the floor and saved a couple for his drive home.

So suddenly I'm counting carbs?

This country has gone nutty with diets. So I promise you today that there are no carbs in my posting.

Blessings,
P.  ¶ 9:41 PM 1 comments